Right now I am re-reading Stephen Covey's classic work: "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People." I started reading his book about 7 years ago, and since then, got distracted by life, and quickly forgot all about it. With all of this craziness, worry, and tension going on between my ex-husband, me, and our son, I decided to come back to this book and see what needs "tweaking" in my life.
My eyes fell upon the chapter titled, "The Seven Habits--An Overview." I have to admit prior to my getting off the couch and walking away from my depressing TV, I was feeling sorry for myself and fretting over my son's first psychiatric appointment tomorrow morning.
But then, I thought, this is ridiculous! What good will worrying over tomorrow do me now, this evening? "Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof," Jesus speaks of in His word. That said, I thought, as this time every evening happens to be the most difficult for me when my son is with his father, I can either stew over my problems or I can be proactive, and reclaim my mind and not give any of these harmful thoughts any room whatsoever.
Want to guess what I chose? I chose staying busy and writing!
Covey's opening lines in this chapter quotes Aristotle. Here is what he says: "We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit." Covey continues: "Our character, basically, is a composite of our habits. "Sow a thought, reap an action; sow an action, reap a habit; sow a habit, reap a character; sow a character, reap a destiny," the maxim goes.
(still quoting Covey) "Habits are powerful factors in our lives. Because they are consistent, often unconscious patterns, they constantly, daily, express our character and produce our effectiveness..or ineffectiveness."
The main point being here that there are many forces at work and we have to deal with them and fight them.
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This is so timely that I am rediscovering Covey's book right now. I am literally fighting against these unspoken forces, and some of the strongest ones come from the pull known to me as my ex-husband, and the negative energy that he emits wherever he goes. I've been divorced from him 8 years now, and there are times when my self-esteem is so low that I am tempted to think that I have no other option that to go back to him! I know! That's insane! But, sanity comes back to me and I remember all of the hard work I've put into rebuilding my life (with God's help, and the love of my son), and a lot of perseverance and determination. I can't afford to throw all of this away just because of these forces or because of guilt.
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